Thursday, September 17, 2009

Breaking News: The Lawyer does not Hate Republicans

Every great story, the theme of which is good versus evil, always has as its resolution the idea of restoring balance. This may be a little simplistic, but evil is imbalance. .

Our forefathers, the authors of the most eloquent and elegant legal document ever drafted, The Constitution of the United States of America, did a real bang-up job of inscribing the mostly perfect recipe for sustaining balance between the competing interests that present themselves everywhere humanity has pitched a tent and called it a town. Those interests are individual rights versus the common good. No wonder Democracy is messy--that is not an easy tight-rope to trot across.

Republicans have by and large championed the rights of the individual against that of the many, and thank God for it. Democrats have made it their mission to ensure that the few are not irresponsibly making hay for themselves to the detriment of the many. Republicans put on the brakes; Democrats punch the accelerator. It's yin and yang, pure and simple. You can't have one without the other. One side gets its way more often than the other for a cycle, and then the other side gets its turn. Hopefully, this is a spiral model rising towards progress, not just a closed loop. I'm an optimist, and I believe that it is an open-ended ascent to increasing perfection.

Where does the wing-nut right figure in all of this--no where. They aren't really Republicans, and they certainly are not Democrats. They're bat-shit, frothing-at-the-mouth, gut-thinking, viscerally-inclined peanut brains, and are too childish to know it. Woe should they ever truly take hold of the reins of power. If they ever do, with any sort of substantial majority, scratch all that shit I said about being an optimist in the preceding paragraph. That would be when this lawyer moves to Canada and starts wearing a nifty, white wig in court.

It isn't fair for me to say that I hate all wing-nuts. I actually love a few--the ones I am related to. The rest--screw 'em. But damn they are interesting to watch in action.

The truth, I suffer from a voyeuristic fetish. I love to watch the far right in action, stomping around, pouting, shouting, throwing temper tantrums, holding up signs that say inane horse crap like, "Keep the Government out of my Social Security," half the words typically misspelled. That's classic, like watching a toilet full of crap blown to smithereens with a pound of dynamite. It's ridiculous, crude and sophomoric, but you have to watch.

May the force be with you.


  1. I did not know that lawyers in Canada wore white wigs...or are you pulling my leg?

  2. Lawyer: I can pull you leg while wearing a white wig, but I think The Engineer would disapprove of me doing that to his wife.

  3. Lawyer: You know what, Morgan? I did an image search on Google, and I don't think they do wear the wig. They have the whole outfit sans white curls and a little rat tail.

  4. Excellent! But I have to say I would rather watch the toilet full of crap blown up with the stick of dyno!